what home means

by Tania Zimmer in

for an expat and third culture child/adult, home is a very heavy word. where you come from is also a heavy word. i don't want to talk about it so much right now. the images of my home, what i consider to be what home was to me, is always changing. different places have found room in myself and are part of my tapestry. but there is a place where my family has lived its longest and where i went to for awhile that makes this place more special than other homes and countries mean to me. singapore the country is definitely a home. but this actual home has meant a lot to me and my sisters. they moved from this place at the end of the summer and it was emotionally asphyxiating to deal with. i finally looked at the images of this home and miss it so much. these homes, known in singapore as black+white homes, are also disappearing in singapores landscape, a reminder of colonialism and history, whatever it means to a country that has become so fast forward busy and running far from its past. they date back to when the british army was very present, and these buildings were offices and homes for many of the officers. its been protected mostly by the singapore government, rented out to mostly the u.s military presence and new zealand military. theres a few that civilians rented out, and we were one of them, funny how back then i grew up around many navy kids and didn't know much about military life, there are definitely some similarities, but being a third culture kid is entirely different than moving around the united states. this is where i stayed put for a whole high school block (9-12th grade) at the Singapore American School, where I was a teenager, where I fell in love with photography and film, and where my golden retriever recently passed away. I'm glad I was able to take my kids to this place in the last summer we would ever spend there. fleeting moments. home means a lot of things. one of those things is 135 queen's avenue.